The one that makes me laugh when I don't even want to smile

Hi there again :)

Since I was already surprised to get any feedback at all on my first blog entry, I was stroken with astonishment to receive positive comments from my friends. Someone told me it made her cry and she wished she had someone like the friend I was telling you about in her life... those words left me taken aback and thoughtful at the same time.

As I had indicated it's not always easy between the two us and as I have to admit, it still is a daily fight. When someone we love feels like hiding himself and refuses any contact because they need a break from a reality that is hurting too much, it's a fight to stay strong. I needed to tell myself over and over again that when it happened, it's never been his way of showing me that he doesn't want me in his life but his way of escaping what he couldn't cope with any longer. I know this now but let me tell you, it will always hurt beyond words to see him suffer like that and to feel so bloody helpless because there isn't really anything I can do besides showing him that there's no way I'll leave. I can't imagine to ever get used to it, especially since he's probably the only one who can put my own pieces back together when I'm down. Anyway, my friend's words only reminded me of how lucky I am to call him a part of my life because despite all the struggles, he's still the one that makes me laugh when I don't even want to smile.

Already brooding over the next topic…

Until next time