Of indescribable beauty

Hi hi :)

For almost a week now I've been trying to gather my thoughts just enough to put them into words and now, all of a sudden there's so much to think and write about... but let me start from the beginning (as the beginning is usually a pretty good point to start things off from^^).

Last weekend my bestie and I finally went on that long-expected short getaway to Munich and I've been trying real hard to find the appropiate words to describe it - and failed miserably every time. Then, my friend and I talked about it the other day and I realised that sometimes, there's no need to put something in words. It's just been such a long time that I experienced something so beautiful I couldn't possibly find the words to describe it that I almost forgot that there's such a thing... We both felt it was extraordinarily beautiful although we didn't do anything exactly out of the ordinary - we went to Bavaria by train, arrived late, slept, went to Ingolstadt the next morning (a small town where he used to live), then we went back to Munich, walked all the way to Bavaria's largest beer garden just to learn it closed about an hour before we got there and eventually ended up in a students' night club where we got wasted and danced until the early morning, fighted a little over getting up on time in the morning (he's such a diva when he's forced to get up xD) and went back home. Just being with him, spending time together, having fun, sharing our hearts - this is what puts me at peace like nothing else does. There are no words to describe what we both felt but it's a memory we both will carry with us for the rest of our lives.

Ingolstadt

And also such an urgently needed timeout... I'm not at my best at the moment. There's so much going on and everything's moving just a little too fast - my final exams for both the chamber of commerce and the university are coming up (about 25 all in all), I urgently need to find myself a new place somewhere near my future working place, yet another of my close friends got engaged and wants me to join her wedding ceremony in Canada and I feel like spending as much quality time with my dear friend as possible before he might leave the country to work in the UK or who knows where. I'm usually handling pressure pretty well but right now I feel almost as exhausted as I did right before my summer holidays had started... this last weekend was a blessing... and so was last night.

Inside of me there's still this little absolutely insecure girl I fail to suppress from time to time, especially when I get a visit from my oh-so-dear friend PMS -_- Generally speaking, I'd like to see myself as a rather rational person but there are times when I tend to compare although I know that it's not the way others are treated that make the way I'm treated more or less valuable. I then wonder why it's so damn complicated for him to tell me what I mean to him when it seems to be so much easier with others... thoughts I'm not proud of at all... but as I have mentioned before, I've learned not to always trust my own thoughts because there are so many irrational factors contributing to how we perceive things. 

Nonetheless, when he told me that he loved me for the first time (and about fifty times in a row) this morning and kept going on about how much I meant to him and how grateful he was to have me in his life, I couldn't help but to cry. Of course, he was hammered (to put it mildly) but I knew he meant it... It's such a silly thing that I actually needed to be told what I knew all along... because why would he stick with me through thick and thin otherwise? He's my angel, he's the one I was looking for all along...

"All because of you,
I believe in angels.
Not the kind with wings,
No, not the kind with halos,
The kind that bring you home,
When home becomes a strange place"

Rise Against - The Good Left Undone

until next time

xoxo